Mother Knows Best?
As mothers we think we should have all answers to whatever questions our children ask. Is it true that mothers know best? So what if you don’t, what can you do?
A mother shared a story with me about how her daughter cornered her by asking about something she didn’t have an answer for. She said “I can’t simply say ‘I don’t know,’ I am the mother. I should know; I should have answers to all her questions.”
But why do we as mothers, expect to have all the answers? Why do we take responsibility for answering our children’ questions and giving advice and solutions–acting as gods – and becoming an authority figure at home? Is this really our role?
We want to rescue our children from all suffering, heart break, and pain. We want them to have a happier and safer life, so we share them our wisdom and the learnings we got out of our experience in life.
But then we start to think for them. We assume that they will face the same situations as we did. We take away their personal responsibility and right for living their own experience.
I am not saying we don’t have a role in teaching or advising, but I am challenging the conviction we have about “having to” spoon feed our children.
I personally face that challenge with my children. I share my stories and life experiences. I try to teach and advise them when they want to and if I have knowledge about what they are asking for. But if I don’t, I share this and think with them in search for answers.
So the next time your kids ask you about something you don’t know, shift your perspective and feelings. Instead of being anxious about not knowing, consider it as an opportunity to get involved together in searching for answers, discussing the issue and learning about it.
You will be modeling that it’s never too late to learn about news things and developing. And most importantly you will relieve yourself from the burden of having to know it all.